10-16-02 Ben joins josh

From: Lisa Cote [mailto: ljcote@snet.net ]
Sent: Wednesday, October 16, 2002 9:44 AM
Subject: Our sweet Ben joins Joshy...

Last night at around 9:45 pm our little Ben died. He had gotten an infection (they couldn’t determine where from at the time) and just couldn’t fight it off…Because of the infection, his lungs began deteriorating and eventually they had to go back on the “rigid” ventilator he had been on when he was first born. Just two days prior he was doing so well and on “low” ventilator settings…so much so that they were contemplating taking him off of the ventilator completely. And in one day that all changed. Within hours, everything they were doing to regulate his vitals and his respiration was not helping.

A dear friend who has been doing energy work on Ben since his birth told me that Ben’s purpose here was to experience Unconditional Love and that when he had experienced that, he would be ready to go and would show us. I was worried that I wouldn’t be ready to listen, that I wouldn’t see the signs because I wouldn’t be ready to let him go…– but when he wasn’t responding to ANY of the treatments, we took that as the sign that he was showing us he was done. He had IV tubes in each arm, received two blood transfusions and two different types of antibiotics, and none of it was helping. The doctor told us that they would continue to do all that they could but that even if he did recover from this “episode”, he would be even worse off than before the episode. All of this compiled with his severe brain damage (which now was getting potentially worse because of his respiratory problem..) just made our hearts break for him. It was time to let him go…

It was a heart wrenching decision, one made a bit easier with our families surrounding us last night. We gathered in one of the family rooms at the hospital and after he was taken off of the respirator, the nurse brought him to us. We all got a chance to hold him, kiss him, and cuddle him – many for the first time. Our pastor Gordon was there to bless Ben as well.

Ben gave us 5 weeks filled with miracles, hope, and his own Unconditional Love. And he certainly experienced what he came to experience…not only from Jeffrey and I – who would have taken him anyway we could have gotten him…but from all of you. All across the country – and even outside of the US (yes….this is true!!). Ben touched more people in more ways, than most adults do in a lifetime – and he did it in only 5 weeks. As his mommy, I must say, I’m pretty damn proud of him and I know his daddy is too.

As far as the memorial services goes, it will still occur this coming Sunday ( 10/20/02 ) at 1:00 pm . However, the service will now be for both Ben and Joshua – Ben knew I might not have the strength to do it twice, so he timed his departure so that we could celebrate he and Joshy together…Please join us if you can to celebrate these two amazing boys who have shown us the true meaning of Unconditional Love and who are now where they should be – together in the Arms of the Angels…

P.S. Hug your loved ones today – they are a gift…

Lisa Cote

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