From: Lisa Cote [mailto: ljcote@snet.net ]
Sent: Thursday, October 10, 2002 7:57 AM
 Subject: more news on Ben 10-10-02

 

 I know you just got an update from me yesterday…Things can change so quickly these days…in a matter of hours it seems…As I wrote you of Ben’s past two good days, I had no inkling of the news I would hear a few hours later at the hospital yesterday afternoon. 

 Jeffrey and I met with another doctor yesterday who was reviewing the recent ultrasounds done on Ben’s head, chest and abdomen.  The head X-Ray showed even more signs of severe extensive brain damage.  In fact the area affected is now front to back and on both sides and is visually apparent.   They showed us an ultrasound of another baby Ben’s age and his looked nothing like it.  It was horrifying actually.  The pediatric neurologist said it was the worst case of pediatric brain damage he’s seen is his 25 years of being there.   It is beginning to manifest in spastic movements of his arms and legs and has even shown signs of seizures recently.  Eventually, pretty soon actually, they said his arms and legs will become less flexible and his muscles will begin to be stiff and he wont be bending them as he is now.  But I didn’t see any of that yesterday…He looked just perfect to me…

 The doctor then took us to a private room to talk with us.  He told us that Ben’s lungs are still very diseased and that he did not respond to the steroid treatment that he had last week.  His stomach is still sick too and at a month old, he should be eating by now but he’s not.  Basically, he told us that Ben’s “burden of treatment” is tremendous and will be for a very long time.  He may not even be able to come home – EVER.  He is facing a very long hospital stay and then he may need to go to another hospital for special needs children, etc…

 Then the doctor said that we will eventually need to weigh his “burden of treatment” with his quality of life and we may need to make the decision to stop treatment at some point.  Imagine that?  I can’t imagine EVER giving up on my child…but I guess when that day comes…I’ll know, like I did with Joshua – I’ll know when it’s time to let go.  But its such a foreign thought to me now.  I held him in my arms yesterday and fell even more in love with him.  My beautiful son.  He’s been through so much already, it kills me to think he has such a difficult road ahead of him.  But Jeffrey and I are ready to do whatever it takes to give him whatever time he has here with us.  And to make that time filled with love – Unconditional Love.  (Thanks Joan….)

 Please keep praying – I’m not sure what to tell you specifically to pray for anymore…I guess just pray for whatever Ben needs and pray that Jeffrey and I will continue to have the strength to be strong for him.  I’m sending some pictures that the nurses took yesterday as Jeffrey and I held him.  The quality isn’t that great because they’re polaroids…but they’re very sweet..

 

 Lisa Cote

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